Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Rockin' Mama

Thank you for all of the comments that were left concerning attachment and bonding. We heard from other adoptive families, our social worker (& friend), and other friends, all with supportive advice.
This being our 4th adoption, you'd think it would be a cake-walk by now. But each child is so different, comes with a different past, different age, different temperment, and different needs. We're just trying to meet Jenna where she is to be sure she gets what she needs first and foremost, and perhaps what she didn't get before. We'll never know for sure, so we'll play it safe.
And, thank you, Nicole, for sending me to THIS blog.
Though I'm too late to join the Rockin' Mama challenge, I'm doing it on my own with Jenna. It's simply 15 minutes per day of UNINTERRUPTED time snuggling in a rocking chair...being quiet, reading, singing, chatting, smiling, resting....whatever. Just snuggling...Jenna and Mama. Fifteen minutes may not sound like much, but in the course of our busy days, with 5 children and a hubby, it's amazing how the day slips by!
This 15 minutes allows close contact and bonding time for us which is key for her to understand who mama is right now. "Mama" needs to be more than the name she calls me, but the person she goes to for security and comfort. To those who haven't been through it, this can sound like a prideful thing on my part...wanting all of her to myself (& Jamie), but it's a step that needs to happen so she grows to know love in a family. Just like an infant, it has to start with the parents, and then branch out to others. Even though she's four, she needs to go back to those experiences.
Today's rocking went well. She snuggled right in with her blanket and bear, and we rocked for 15 minutes before she went down for her nap. She seemed comfy and content. I was, too.
She is such a joy and truly doing well!

2 comments:

Chrissy said...

Oh Angie, this is such a sweet happy post. You will all find that love and bond that you need. Keep working at it!

Adeye said...

You're doing GREAT, dear friend. One day at a time.

She sure is a treasure :)